So i guess its 7 months home now

 I lost track of it. I stopped counting at the 6 month mark, but then i decided to do a post and its almost exactly 7 months now. 7 months and 1 week. So I only lost track of it for  5 weeks.  but still. I never lost track of it before so that's big progress.

facebook showed me a post from last year, when a friend who'd just gotten vaccinated, came from out of town to visit and I wasnt vaccinated yet and I wasnt living in my house and I was still having a lot of physical problems. Just waiting for spring to try to air the house out.

Which i remember doing while i waited for him to arrive on my porch. Had everything opened up and fans of all caliber going. But what I didnt know yet was that it wasnt in the air. the reaction was in my body so all that was for nothing.

But it did me some good to be trying something after a long winter of living in the apartment not being able to open windows. 

I did better in the apartment with new stuff or new-to-me stuff  so it came as a shock later in the year when i tried to move home and the reactions came back.

Since my last post, in the last month, i ended up with a really bad muscle spasm in my back and/or obliques. or maybe my hip flexors.. not even really sure what all happened because it seems i got out of alignment while i was resting a muscle strain in my leg, and long story short they xrayed me, found my spine is crooked and my muscles i guess just finally started having issues once one thing went and then everything like dominoes. 

A visit to urgent care and some muscle relaxers later, im in physical therapy now and they think they can sort me out. I got a new ergonomic desk chair. New-to-Me.. one of these $1000+ ones but i got it used for $250 and its really helping. 

And i got a mattress topper which i feel like its making a difference and a series of cushions and such to basically keep my spine straight while I heal and probably after that as well. 

I'm still exercising, just being lame in class and keeping my movements small and trying to distribute my weight evenly and focusing on that instead of whatever else. Till i can do more. 

My back is still messed up but it seems like the only after-effect from the great flea-spray incident.

I mean aside from all my old clothes all being in the garage and  i still dont think my washer/dryer is ok. 

I wash my hairdye towels in there and they come out smelling like the flea spray and i feel like it should have washed out or worn off by now but it doesnt seem to have. 

I can get new machines but i have a ton of other things to sort out first and now im spending money on doctors as well. 

But time i have.

time to make more money, to pay for new things and to heal more. I heal more all the time. My back still needs lotion and bathtub soaks but its not as urgent as before and I can go a day or two without needing to do it now. 

Thats huge really.

and i dont have carpet. 

I have area rugs. 

I  would love to get new carpet but it means a lot of logistics and ive been saving it because its a whole project in and of itself which means packing things up and moving them and im home now.

Today i wasnt feeling well with a sinus infection and I spent the day in bed.

Feeling safe in my bed with my cats in my house.

Which, in the darkest moments of all this, was all i wanted to do. 

So i have that again.

everything else can wait. 

In fact, its been so long now for some of the stuff in the garage i might not need it anymore.

Its been two years since I really went out and maybe i dont need the wardrobe I used to have at all.

and im older now too. and fashion is changing all the time.

Maybe i dont need any of it.

Or maybe its all just fine and if my body heals and most of that was never contaminated at all its probably all just fine too.

But my desire for experimentation has decreased a lot considering im home and im fine now.

I dont want to find out the hard way that things are going to hurt me.

I just leave it be in the garage.

I think eventually any contamination that would hurt me will wear off by itself. The ingredients will go inert in anything that was actually exposed. I just dont know how long that would take. But its already been a year and a half.

todays one of the first real nice days and it shouldnt be freezing overnight anymore.

the lawn guys came for the first time this year.

I can finally see about setting up my inflatable hot tub. 

not today. I'm in no hurry.

I think i should just lose track of time and live my life while the nerves in my skin continue to heal and I try to undo the damage done by being crooked for not having real furniture for a bit there, and start living life again from this point forward and see what that's like. 

I dont want to do the same things I'd been doing before anymore.

I've changed. 

But i dont know what i do exactly either.

so I guess i should focus on figuring that out after I'm healed.