DawnOwar's Blog

i dont read my previous entries i just sort of word vomit here on this blog that i believe no one reads anyway. but i started doing these updates when everything was awful and unknown and even thugh its crazy to me its taken 3 years im finally on the other end of it all. i got these green chairs which id been looking for to replace my one green chair i used to have before all this. it just makes the room look right and ive been looking for green ones since before i moved back in. bought a pink one but it was never right. these green ones are exactly right and i have exactly the right amount of space for them and they make the room look bigger and brighter and it makes me very happy. but now i need carpet. which was one of those things iwasnt going to even think about getting until i paid down at least the credit card. id kind of decided id pay off the loan the painful way over many many years. But i had a sort of unexpected windfall in stock investing today somehow and without putting ...

 I've been super sleepy lately but ive also done a bunch of stuff im so happy to have my clothes back i went on a roadtrip to see my rockstar and a proper date with my new guy who im still undecided about but trying to live in the moment. I'm just still trying to get my body back in shape and pay off my bills and dating takes time and money i dont have  in a lot of ways hes a great match for me so im trying to stay in that place in my head. after so much doom and gloom and solitary confinment and suffering for years its weirdly hard to be out and about and try to stay sociable and happy. but then it also came right back and its so very natural  i spent money i dont have to spend but i also did stuff i know i wont regret. dont regret but i still need to finish what i started here. my house is so comfortable now which is so great and i just want to hang out in it by myself after spending years not being this comfortable and hanging out by myself in misery. its just hard to ...